Go Ad-Free
logoThe People's Perspective on Medicine

Libido Imbalance Threatens Marriage

Q. My husband has a very low sex drive and little or no desire for any physical contact. In contrast, I have an extremely high sex drive and touch is important to me. It is killing me to not have these needs fulfilled.
I have tried to ignore this problem. I can do so for a time, but then I get a flood of emotions that I can barely control: hurt, anger, depression, lack of motivation and self-destructive thoughts. Is there something I can do to kill my libido? He refuses to go to counseling.
A. If your husband realized how much his lack of interest is damaging your relationship, he might be motivated to talk to his physician. Low testosterone levels could be contributing to his missing sex drive.
There are drugs that can dampen desire, including many antidepressant medications. They all have other side effects, but since you are feeling depressed and self-destructive, your doctor might feel that one is appropriate. Such medication is not a panacea for relationship difficulties, however.
A new book by clinical psychologist Harriet Lerner, PhD, might also help you figure out how to talk with him about this intimate topic. The title is Marriage Rules, and it offers numerous tips on improving relationships. Our interview with Dr. Lerner gives some practical advice on this problem.

Rate this article
5- 2 ratings
About the Author
Terry Graedon, PhD, is a medical anthropologist and co-host of The People’s Pharmacy radio show, co-author of The People’s Pharmacy syndicated newspaper columns and numerous books, and co-founder of The People’s Pharmacy website. Terry taught in the Duke University School of Nursing and was an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Anthropology. She is a Fellow of the Society of Applied Anthropology. Terry is one of the country's leading authorities on the science behind folk remedies..
Tired of the ads on our website?

Now you can browse our website completely ad-free for just $5 / month. Stay up to date on breaking health news and support our work without the distraction of advertisements.

Browse our website ad-free
Join over 150,000 Subscribers at The People's Pharmacy

We're empowering you to make wise decisions about your own health, by providing you with essential health information about both medical and alternative treatment options.