a young couple in bed has problems and crisis. divorce and separation.

Q. Wow. After reading dozens of other posts to this website I can’t believe so many others know what this is like. My sex drive is slightly above average. My boyfriend’s is well below average. Other than the lack of sex my relationship is perfect.

I wish this one thing didn’t hurt so much. We’re both in our mid 30’s and healthy. He just doesn’t desire sex. Apparently this has been an issue for him before. On average we have sex once every 6 weeks or so. Its driving me crazy. At this point once a week would sound good to me.

It hurts so much to feel so undesired. Even when we do have sex it’s only to please me. The sex is really good when it happens. Every time we do I get my hopes up that it’ll be more frequent but my hopes are always crushed. Between rejection and knowing sex does so little for him I want to give up. That’s why I’m searching for something to kill my sex drive. Never could I have imagined this would be my life.

A. It has surprised us how many women have experienced the same problem you are going through. It is almost as if there is some environmental exposure that is dampening desire of millions of men. To see what other women are going through, here are two links on our website:

Seeking Ways To Suppress Sex Drive

and

Women Who Want Sex More Than Men

We are always reluctant to suggest strong medications that might dampen desire. Most of the antidepressant medications such as fluoxetine, paroxetine or sertraline will do this, but the side effects are worrisome. And stopping such drugs can cause nightmares, literally and figuratively.

Here is an alternative that might be safer:

“I read on your website about women desperate to reduce their libido. I used to suffer from the same unwelcome sexual desires. I think my sex drive was due to excess testosterone.

“I fixed this problem by drinking spearmint tea in the morning and the evening for several weeks. Spearmint is available in health food stores or Latino groceries, where it is sold as yerba buena”.

We were surprised to read that in Turkey, mint tea has a reputation for lowering libido. Animal research suggests that it may have an impact on testosterone.

Researchers treated 21 women who had unwanted facial hair suggesting high testosterone levels (Phytotherapy Research, May, 2007). A cup of spearmint tea twice a day for five days lowered free testosterone.

A British trial randomized 42 women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and high testosterone levels to take either spearmint tea or placebo tea twice a day for a month. At the end of 30 days testosterone levels were lower in the women who had consumed spearmint tea (Phytotherapy Research, Feb. 2010).

Spearmint tea seems much less likely to have undesirable side effects than certain other remedies people have tried, including licorice, saltpeter or chaste tree berry.

Perhaps a better solution would be to ask your partner to listen to this interview with Dr. Ruth. We talked with her on the radio about exactly this problem. Her suggestion: have the partner satisfy the person with the stronger sex drive. We won’t get too graphic here, but Dr. Ruth does not mince words. At her age and with her experience in sexual education, she can be surprisingly candid. In a loving relationship, the partner with the lower sex drive should be happy to help the other achieve sexual satisfaction. Here’s a link to the description of the show and a one minute billboard.

What do you do to deal with different levels of libido? We would like to see your story. Post a comment below and share your own experience with this common problem.

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  1. Dawn
    UK
    Reply

    I never expected to be happier in a relationship than I am now. Apart from that one thing. I too am looking to decrease my sex drive. My partner’s is very low but he admits he has no confidence therefore doesn’t attempt. I appreciate that his lack of confidence is the issue but until such time as it can be resolved either together or we part ways, I need to reduce my needs. As I have said, other than that, could not be happier. Reading through the site link by link, I cannot see any risk-less options that would work for me. So yes, kill me now. This is making us miserable as sin!

  2. Christine
    Colorado
    Reply

    Very nice to know this is an issue for many women in their prime. Seems everyone on here is in a relationship (unhappily as I was). I just divorced. And not even remotely interested in dating.. or jumping from one bed to the next either as men are so quick to label that behavior and there’s no guarantee the end result will be satisfactory. At 40, I’m shocked to be feeling this way. I don’t seem to be in control of my thoughts so it’s very difficult to concentrate on the things I need to accomplish. I hate mint so that tea sounds horrible. And I don’t like to take medications as big Pharm. seems to push these “medications” out that are often very harmful to your body. I try to exercise and that seems to help a little. “Toys” don’t work, they just cause more irritability and frustration. I need human contact. The idea of getting a “partner to satisfy me” is not applicable since I don’t have one. Seems I am doomed to live in agony until this sexual “prime” passes. I’m going to go cry now. Thanks for everyone’s comments here.
    Signed ~Helpless

  3. M
    Maryland
    Reply

    I dislike that anyone has this very same problem, but I am so happy there are people who can relate. However, I feel like a spoiled child because I am internally blowing up and pouting about it. And reading where other women go much longer than I do without it makes me feel like I really have nothing to be complaining about. But this does confirm that I have a need to dampen my sex drive.

  4. Margaret
    South Africa
    Reply

    Well, this was a shock to see that there are so many struggling with this problem. I have been in my relationship for 7yrs now. I can literally count the times on one hand that we have had sex. I speak to him openly about how I feel, and hate the rejection. But this stays the problem. He is simply just not interested.

    I also want the wonder cure for this problem as I am at whit’s end. I love him and want to stay faithful as my first marriage fell apart after 11 yrs due to my ex husband’s infidelity. I never want to hurt somebody in that way. Tea won’t do the trick. And spearmint I get an overdose from cause I am a bubble-gum eater. And Spearmint is my poison. Please help me how to handle this.

  5. Mandy
    Reply

    Although I’m a biology major, and I know messing with hormones is inadvisable at best, I’m desperate to lower my sex drive because I’m so, so scared of cheating on my boyfriend of 15 months. I love him to pieces, and we’ve had sex in the past…. but that was before we moved in with his christian parents, who go so far as to limit us from kissing too passionately. I’m sick of it, yes, but breaking the promise we both made to them to not have sex until we get married (i.e. as long as we live there, which is another 8 months), would ruin our lives if they found out. And yet, I am desperate for that physical contact, because that’s how I show my love most effectively, and how I feel loved most effectively.

    I’ve actually caught myself trying to start “dating” other people just because I’m so desperate for physical love…. but I stop myself because I know I could never betray my boyfriend like that. Still, I hate myself for the strength of my urges and I wish there was a way to put them aside so we both didn’t have to worry about that all the time.

  6. Kim
    LA - Louisiana
    Reply

    I have been in several relationships but can never find a partner that can keep up. Every man I meet only wants sex maybe once a week. The rejection makes me hate myself and I’ve spent numerous nights crying over it. When I finally do get sex it takes me longer than him so I never get mine. I want some help so I never desire sex again.

  7. SAVANNAH
    Kcmo
    Reply

    I love my boyfriend to death, I do but I’m 6nonths pregnant and I got super high sex drive and I keep getting mad cause keep getting rejected and then I get super sexually frustrated so somebody help me please what can I do to get rid of my high sex drive cause even when I’m not pregnant, got high sex drive but now I am pregnant.

    It’s out of control. Somebody help me please. I need something to kill my sex drive and said spearmint tea but before I buy this tea, I wanna make sure it will completely kill my sex drive cause my sex drive causing problems with my boyfriend and I somebody please help I want my sex drive gone SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE

  8. Sana
    Uk
    Reply

    I always read comments here and first thing i felt relief that im not the only one .. i have been married from last 13 yrs. we had amazing sex life for first few years.i cant believe i was the one sometime dont wanted to disturb my sleep because he always wanted morning sex 4 or 5 .things changed now but still not that bad we have two to three time in a month and whenevr we have it its amazing he always give me priority over his .. im the one who is fixing times for it like weekend .. life is going fast now kids r growing up.everything is changing fast. My dad was in army and my mom used to wait for him for month and months. Sex wasnt issue for them .love ur partner be happy find anything creative keep ur self busy. I love him he loves me we making a beautiful house.sex is not everything . Its a part of life not life .i feel to have it more but i still manage how much he want with.but for some very young women u can rethink i believe.best of luck ladies ..👍

  9. Lilly
    California
    Reply

    Wow! I am so glad I encounter this site. My story is the same, I been married for 14 years and always having arguments about sex. I even thought my husband was homosexual.

    I have kids and I feel is the only reason I am still with him. I have cheated on him and he discover it, secretly I wanted him to do so. I wanted him to get the message and we almost divorce but we stayed for our kids.

    We don’t talk much even though he is nice and a very helpful person. We sleep separately because of his snoring and sometimes drives me crazy just to think that I am married but their is no connection except our kids. I really want a divorce but I hate the idea of my children going through it.

    I seriously, believe that the sexual connection is a must in a couple and that without it things can quickly fall apart. The person I cheated with was just like me and I must say I love the feeling of someone wanted me so badly. Sex was all night and OMG it was intense but he was in another state with the same problem but with his wife. This experience make me feel that there is someone made just for you and that being sexual is not a curse but a gift. For my sanity and my family I will try the tea but as soon as my children are old enough, I am getting a divorce and will look for that special someone.

  10. Christy
    California
    Reply

    Seriously, mint tea is bullcrap and exercise only makes it worse. I don’t care the cost of the drug. I want ZERO sexual desire. HOW DO I GET THIS?????? There has to be some chemical to absolutely destroy my sex drive.

  11. Angel
    Quinlan TX
    Reply

    I have such a high sex drive that I have gotten physically sick from not having sex at least every few days. My man has the sex drive of a 17 yr old boy although he’s 31. I have tried multiple partners at once, toys, and anything else but nothing ever seems to be enough. I don’t know what to do or how to make it slow down where I can actually enjoy not being on the edge of orgazium 90% of the time. Please help!!

  12. Jo
    Council Bluffs
    Reply

    Help, my mother is 65 and lately she is finding younger men attractive…and will announce it at the store. She will say, “Boy, that clerk is handsome,” and he can hear her. I swear she sounds like a dirty old woman. What can I do to decrease her sex drive?

  13. Lemmie
    Orange County, CA
    Reply

    I can’t believe so many other women feel the same in this situation! I’ve been so frustrated lately; ashamedly, in the back of my mind, I’ve wished something would traumatize me toward sex, just so I didn’t want it. I love my fiancé so much, and my dissatisfaction is making him feel bad as well as exasperating the situation. I will try the spearmint tea ASAP. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one that feels this way.

  14. VY
    Australia
    Reply

    In so many ways it’s comforting to see women with the same issue.We have sex once in 6months.It is a miracle that I have two kids.Im only 35 and been married for 10 years.From Day 1 it has been the same story.He likes to sleep,eat and watch tv than have sex.

  15. CDS
    WV
    Reply

    I married my husband when I was 15 and he was 19. This year will be our 27th anniversary, aged now 42 and 46.

    Same as all of you, sex drive in my court, zero in his. I even told him that he helped create my sex drive. Heck, his sex drive was worse than mine for every year we’ve been married, except these past four years.

    Foreplay is not even an option because it never was an option. We’ve had great sex everyday. But not everyday did I reach climax. Was I guilty of faking it? Yes ma’am, I was! But! Once or twice a month, we would have extraordinary sex! Let’s just say those were my days.

    Then, once or twice extraordinary sex turned into once or twice in six months, then it was a year, and then years………. Because his days went from everyday to every three days to once a week to whenever he feels like it. And then it’s, “you going to waste this? get on” and you do because I mean come on, it’s not worth the argument that starts if you don’t.

    The fight that always starts like this. Him: “You’re the one always complaining about not having sex and then, boom, when you’re offered, you don’t want to,” then you counter with, Me: “It’s not that I don’t want to. I really want to, but it would be better for me to be ‘ready’ for it.” And his reply…..ready for this? His reply is, “It’s not like you have to do anything to get ready for sex. I’m the one that has to get ready, you just have the hole…”
    I am left dumbstruck. After all of these years, I’m just dumbstruck.

    He has Viagra, TONS of it. He won’t take it because it gives him a headache and dry mouth afterwards. Ughhhh! WTH?! I think it’s laziness.

    Everyone screaming masterbation, but you’ll find after forty, it’s not as easy as it once was. When “it works,” it’s shadowed by the guilt afterwards, so almost not even worth it.

    Then, there’s this way he talks to me that I’m left feeling immature and wanton for suggesting a dildo into my “I need it” sex life. That leaves him getting angry and saying, Him: “I always knew I was never big enough to satisfy you.”

    We’ve apparently reached this fabled age where sex is supposed to be no longer needed and or wanted.

    In the end, it’s not even worth the clean up afterwards to have it.

    I’m done!

  16. Lauren
    California
    Reply

    Wow. I’m thinking we should start a support group/forum for this issue. It has surprised and really comforted me that so many other women are going through the same thing. You are NOT crazy for wanting sex several times a week, and your man should never make you feel that you need to do drastic things like drug yourself just because your desire is not reciprocated.

    Love your horny self and know that you are a treasure, not a burden.

    • AMANDA
      Nigeria
      Reply

      Add your thoughts to the conversation for some months now. I notice I always feel horny, my sex drive is so high, I want to do it everyday, but my husband is in the military.

      I tried so many times to masturbate but I am not getting answers. I need a real human. I am thinking of meeting someone. pls help. What do I do

  17. Jaye
    Pennsylvania
    Reply

    I’m honestly relieved that I’m not the only woman that is dealing with these issues. Until I came across these articles, I felt like I was the only female with this problem. Most of the comments describe exactly what I’m going through.

    I love my boyfriend & I definitely don’t want to leave him. I just wish I didn’t want to have sex so much, or at all! Why can’t I be the one saying “not tonight honey, I’m tired”?

    There has been a few rare moments when he initiated sex & i wasn’t in the mood. But I couldn’t say no because I didn’t know when I would be offered the opportunity again. That’s so sad to say… i feel so lonely & undesirable.

    We haven’t had the best relationship. We have drifted apart. But we continue to try to work things out. I want “us” to feel okay so I’ve been desperately craving the intimacy. I need to feel that attachment to reassure me of his love. He will go to sleep. So quickly. Look so peaceful. I will be right there beside him crying. Staying up all night. Asking myself, why doesn’t he want me?

    I know it’s not my fault. But I feel like it is. I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I’ve tried to talk to him about it. But I don’t want to make him feel pressured & push him away even more. I’m afraid I’m going to let this push me away & I’m going to give up. I don’t want that at all! I just want to not feel like this anymore. It’s depressing me. It’s making me feel resentment towards him. I need to make myself not want to have sex with him. It seems like the more I want to not want to have sex with him, makes me want him even more. I’m going to try the tea. I pray to God it helps. If I can’t get my sex drive under control, my relationship is doomed.

    • Jean
      Dubai
      Reply

      Married for 5 years, last time I had sex was last year May. Since March 2012 we had sex 6 times. I look at other men and wish I could have them just to know what it feels like. Those 6 times I asked for it.
      Please leave he’ll never change.

      • Dallas
        New Zealand
        Reply

        This is so superficial. Relationships are about love and not sex. You don’t just leave a person if the other person doesn’t give it to you as much as you want. Instead of a boyfriend why don’t you just get a dildo if you want on demand pleasure without the trouble of arousing someone. If he is not in the mood, he is not in the mood. The man is also a human and he has the right to not be in the mood. What would you say to a man who said I’m gonna leave my girlfriend because she doesn’t give it to me enough. Also more men face this issue then women do. It’s majority which are men who complain about not getting enough sex at home. Shows the double standard you have.

    • Renay
      Chicago, IL
      Reply

      This just described my life. Have you done anything different that helped? Need advice.

  18. Janh
    Reply

    Tears rolled down my cheeks by reading this comments and watching the sex-starved Ted talk. My boyfriend is a nice guy and smart guy. He is good in his career and passionate about his career goals, but when it comes to bed all rests in peace. It was amazing when we started dating, we had thirst for each other, things quickly died as we moved in. It’s always me who approaches him, then again I can only approach him on weekends. The repeated answers I get back are ” I am tensed about work” you should find some other guy or I have to hit the gym. The only time we have sex is on my birthday, yes once a year and that I’d also again done just to please me. I am tired of nagging him, I feel the most loneliest when he tells me that I just want to fight about it

  19. Amoy
    Georgia
    Reply

    Lack of sex is putting a strain on my marriage. My sex drive is off the radar and my husband’s is lost in space. I’m to the point where I feel like ending our marriage. It’s painful, mentally and physically, and I am at the end of the rope.

  20. Tina
    Cape Town, SA
    Reply

    After googling “How to kill sex drive in women” I ended up here. I can relate to the key issues in each comment. I’m also sitting here, crying, wondering how I ended up in this situation.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and we’re in our early twenties. We also recently moved to a new city with new careers, and we know nobody here. So I don’t believe the reason for his sudden lack of sex drive is due to cheating. He says he is stressed out with work, and on other occasions admitted to having a ‘low sex drive’ when we were doing it twice a week. Only now such things have materialized, because I’m lucky if we do it once a month!

    However, this has only been going on for three months (Or two and a half? I can’t clearly remember.).

    I was never a self-confident person to begin with, so this has further lowered my self-esteem. I often lock myself in the bathroom and cry. I love him dearly, and we have committed ourselves to each other, but sometimes the rejection gets too much.

    When I initiate sex in any form, he somehow won’t climax. So after a couple of months I’ve grown more fearful of initiating. I feel like such a freak of nature due to wanting sex much more than my boyfriend.

    I guess it’s due to job related stress. But even so, sometimes I can’t even get a make-out session and I get pushed away. I know I should work with him to solve his issues, but I can’t shake the strong rejection I feel. I grow more and more empty by the day.

    The thing is, I’ve never met a man like him. I don’t want to just throw the relationship away. We share the same values, tastes and interests. And also, guys in my generation are so superficial. So I don’t particularly want to throw away a diamond, just to pick up a stone.

    I actually talked to my mother, my best friend and also a qualified psychologist with a doctorate. She would never tell him of my concerns, as to not offend him. The last time the three of us had lunch together, when she was in town, she was telling us about a few of her patients. And telling us that the two biggest things that cause stress to relationships (cause people to argue) are a lack of sex and lack of money. My boyfriend commented that sex isn’t important in a relationship. The subject was then changed.

    The thing is that sex equates to intimacy. Intimacy re-affirms love. I honestly don’t know how to approach the situation without hurting him or making him feel inadequate (The same feels I am feeling right now). Hopefully a solution will come to me.

    If not, I’ve heard anti-depressants kill sex drive quite effectively. I’m on self-medicate herbal ones at the moment (isn’t my whole generation on some form of this stuff?), but am considering switching to the prescription ones solely for the lovely side effects.

    Or is there an angle I’m not exploring? My emotions are really taking over my logical thinking. It’s really hard to think of anything now, except self-deprecation.

  21. Gudz
    India
    Reply

    I wait every night for him, we are married since 1 year but he don’t have passion or love for me, he cares about me, he love me in front of people but he don’t have sexual drive from me… Since marriage we have sex once a month or twice sometimes… I have always dream of a happy married life including sex life but other than sex everything is perfect, I love him so can’t leave him… Sounds stupid but this way I can’t live with him… I feel horrible… I feel like forcing him into this every weekend… After lots and lots of arguments every weekend still I fight for myself….. I don’t know what else I can do to make things better… He don’t care about my feelings I think… He thinks as is not important part of married life but my sex drive is high so I don’t know how to control myself.. I m tired of my feeling becoming depressed.

  22. ?Beverly
    Winston Salem ,NC
    Reply

    To any of you ladies who are with a “boyfriend ” with a low or no sex drive ,& it leaves you frustrated and miserable…. Get out of the relationship.

    I’ve been exactly where you are for 15 years. When we first started dating , it was so passionate. But within weeks, I knew something was very wrong. I’d never felt so rejected by a man who was supposedly so in love with me …..he tried Drs and anti-depressants, took testosterone injections , everything. Nothing helped.

    I’ve been miserable over this for our entire marriage. The reason I married him was because everything about our relationship was so good. He continued to struggle with depression, and eventually had an affair. This made NO sense to me,since he wanted no sex at home. I should add that I’m slim and considered very attractive , so that’s not the issue. After a couple of years of his going back and forth- wanting to leave and then changing his mind- we finally renewed our vows and put the affair behind us.

    His libido has gotten even worse, which I didn’t think was possible.

    Now he says he has zero interest and that it has nothing to do with me. He claims that his male family members are the same way….and that his co-workers are mostly disinterested in sex as well. You would think that I’m the only person in the world who thinks its normal to make love a couple of times per week.

    I feel like I can’t bear it sometimes – it’s driving me crazy. I feel so much hurt and cry at night because he makes me feel so undesirable ..I know for sure that it isn’t me,but that doesn’t help when you have no other outlet for sexual intimacy. I have no problem with masturbation but that isn’t the same at all I miss the intimacy.

    I consider finding a sexual partner to help with this pain I feel , but that seems like a difficult thing to do as well.
    If I could do things over, I’d never have married him because of this issue- no matter how good the rest of the relationship is; It’s not worth it. If you’re still young and not yet married, don’t even consider staying with a guy who doesn’t have desires , if you have a normal libido. It will be a miserable life- I can assure you.

  23. Gloria
    outerspace
    Reply

    My libido is off the charts today. It feels like I am going to lose my mind. I don’t want sex, my body does. My hubby of 31 years is impotent and we have not been romantic outside the bed, so I am turned off to be creative with him. What’s a girl to do. I hate masturbation because it feels immoral. The aftermath is self disgust because of carnality and a feeling of weakness. I am torn, I am tearful, because who do you talk to about it? If I could circumcise my clitoris, I would. This is madness. Is there any help? I’m going to raid my cabinets in search of mint tea, in hopes I get some kind of relief.

    • Amoy
      Reply

      I know exactly how you feel. My body has this need and he has none. Now, when he wants to have Sex, it only pleases him and I feel nothing. After wanting and waiting, my body goes to a shut off period. I’m going to try the tea. I need some kind of relief.

  24. Michelle
    Texas
    Reply

    I’m a 43 year old woman. My husband is 41 and we have been married for 11 years. He is an amazing husband. I know he loves me and he takes good care of me, but he has no need for sex and I do. We’ve gone a year with out a sex or even a passionate kiss because he knows I will get excited. Our norm is to have sex once every 3 to four month. I would love to have sex a couple of times a week. We are both so off. I love my husband and I wouldn’t cheat on him, but I need something that can lower my desires to have sex. I’ve heard about the mint tea, but I do not like any type of tea. Is there something else I can do or take? I do not want to divorce my husband over this, but I’m tired of crying, of feeling lonely, undesired, frustrated and irritate it.

    • Crystal
      West Virginia
      Reply

      It seems like I just read my story! We have much in common here.
      I’m going for the tea also. At this point what can it hurt?!

      Wonder if mint oil would work? I’d be the first person in history to OD on mint oil hahahaha

  25. L
    Burnsville, Minnesota
    Reply

    I love People’s pharmacy…..thank you for covering so many topics. I just got off of Cymbalta that I was on for 8 years! Seriously. Not much of a sex drive over the past 8 years. That was fine with my husband who does not have a sex drive at all. I am 59. When I was 48 I went a bit crazy for sex. My husband did not want to have sex. I eventually had an affair and we were separated for three years. We sleep in different bedrooms due to snoring. Not great for intimacy. Tonight I stimulated myself and oh my, Three hours later…. I am worried that I won’t be able to fall asleep. I have been aggressively biking the past two weeks to get exercise to make sure that my anxiety and irritability for which I was being treated with the Cymbalta the biking is wonderful. I know it will help me with sexual desires. And I am going to try the Mint Tea tomorrow when I can get to the coop…..but geez….don’t want to have my life fall apart again due to sex. I have a pretty good life, there is a lot more to life than sex….wow.

    • Crystal
      West Virginia
      Reply

      I’ve been on Cymbalta for a few years now, and I wish it gave me that side effect!

  26. Jacquelyne
    Gaffney SC
    Reply

    This makes me feel a little better. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. At first the sex was strong, and well, just amazing!!!!! But that changed very soon after we moved in together.

    Rejection is whats hurts the most. He’s just not into having sex with me. My sex drive is extremely high, and I often want it at least 3 to 5 times a week If not more. I absolutely love sex!!!!!

    He, on the other hand, never feels the need to have sex. And when he does have sex with me it’s usually just to please me. He doesn’t even want to kiss on me or rub on me. I fix myself up, get sexy and try to tease him. But he just turns me away. Says he’s tired or just not in the mood or sick. I feel so badly about myself sometimes I cry myself to sleep. I feel so ugly!!!! It’s the main reason why we argue. And it makes me feel so selfish.

    Don’t get me wrong: he’s a great guy. I just wish there was a way I could raise his sex drive or do something to make mine disappear. It hurts so bad feeling this way. Feeling unattractive and not good enough for him. I have depression already and being rejected by the main person I have in my life just destroys me in so many ways. I just want to distance myself from him because I know I’m going to make a move on him and I already know he going to either ignore me or turn me down.

    I’m not used to this at all. I’ve always ended up with someone with a very healthy sex drive. So when I got into this one I felt very disappointed. I don’t believe in cheating on people at all and I love him with all my heart. I’m just pondering in my head if I should stay or should I go and find someone with the same sex drive as me or stay in this relationship and be completely miserable with myself all the time. I’m gaining weight feeling this way. I’m starting to have absolutely no energy or desire to do the things I once loved to due to lack of sex. I just need to find a way to cope with this “problem” I have….

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