There are so many things that can interfere with a satisfying sex life that it sometimes amazes us. Many of these problems do have solutions, though, including one of the most common: an incompatibility between partners in terms of how often they are interested in sexual activity. Although the stereotype is that men have stronger libidos, we frequently hear from women who are frustrated because they would enjoy sex more frequently than their partners. That is this reader’s complaint:
Q. I have met the perfect man, and we are compatible in every way except for sex. He is currently on anti-anxiety medication, and he attributes his low sex drive to its side effects.
I still can’t help but feel rejected when we are ready but his penis goes soft. When we discussed this, we figured it would just take time for the effects of the anti-anxiety drug to wear off.
Nothing has changed since our conversation, however. I know he loves me and recognizes my frustration, but I can’t help feeling undesirable.
Anxiety Drug Squashes Sex Drive:
A. Your partner is right that a benzodiazepine medication like alprazolam (Xanax), frequently used to treat anxiety, can put a damper on libido and interfere with sexual function. We don’t know of any antidote to these side effects of an anti-anxiety drug other than discontinuing the medication, which is easier said than done.
Withdrawal Symptoms from Stopping an Anti-Anxiety Drug Suddenly:
Getting off an anti-anxiety drug can be a challenge because of the danger of withdrawal symptoms if one stops abruptly. People may experience acute anxiety or symptoms such as panic, insomnia, muscle spasms, shock-like sensations, dizziness and headache. None of that is likely to boost his libido immediately.
With support, however, he may be able to go off the medicine gradually and eventually regain his interest in sex. Counseling might help him with that and also help you recover your sense of desirability.